“If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” – African Proverb
Reaching out for help can be one of the hardest things to do. We often don’t want to burden others with our needs and feel that we should be able to ‘handle it’, just adding more and more things to our load. This can easily lead to burnout or resentment. ‘We don’t have to do it all alone, we were never meant to’ (Brené Brown).
Asking for help asks us to show our vulnerability, it asks us to reach out with the risk of being shut down or criticized. In her book, Brené Brown wrote “Daring greatly means the courage to be vulnerable. It means to show up and be seen. To ask for what you need. To talk about how you’re feeling. To have the hard conversations.”
Assess how you do with asking for help
- How often do you ask for help when you need it?
- How good would you say you are at asking for help?
- Do you often do things yourself rather than asking others for help because it’s easier and you know it’ll be done right?
- Do you do everything for everyone, but never ask anyone to help you with anything?
tips to help you with this challenge
Asking for help is scary if you’re not used to it. Remember that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness or incompetence. We were never meant to do it all alone. Here are some ideas of things you could ask for help with. These suggestions are meant to get you thinking about things in your life you may want to some help with:
- Ask for help with household chores from either your children, partner, or housemate, or hire someone to come and clean.
- Where possible, delegate tasks to others, either at home, with something you are planning, or at work.
- Don’t take on anything new if you know you don’t have the time or energy for it.
- Reach out to a professional to help you with something you are struggling with (home renovation, business development, health concern, etc).
reflect on your journey
- Have you been able to identify places in your life where it would be beneficial to ask for help?
- Would you be able to say that you feel lighter if you asked for help more often?
- If you asked for help with something, can you see yourself doing it more often?